Meatless Easter and Its Horrors

It's horrible being a vegetarian (or pescatarian for that matter) on Easter Sunday. Ham is my favorite. There was magical ham yesterday. I almost cried. Oh, it was beautiful. Not to say that I didn't stuff my face. It's easy to fill the meatless void in my heart with other things. Mostly things with butter.
I almost cried for another reason; there are always a million babies at family gatherings. Babies make me sad. So does fielding the question: when are you guys gonna have one? Painful. Irritating. Unwelcome. I'm kind of glad this wasn't an occasion for binge drinking; I would have said too much...not that I don't already do that here.
However, I was able to use my talents as baby whisperer to lull no less than three children into napping. I'm good. I'm really good. Once they end up in my arms, I become overwhelmed by maternal instinct and sooner or later, I have them napping. And no, there is no neck-snapping involved.
I wish all of that talent wasn't going to waste right now. My future children are going to be excellent nappers. Just like me. I am a fantastic napper. Do I ever sleep well at night? Hell no. But I'm a fabulous napper. I actually reserve most Sundays for sleeping, because I just love napping that much. The other night, I "slept" 8 hours, yet at about 2PM, I sat down to watch a little tv and completely crashed for two hours. And, they were the greatest two hours of sleep that ever existed.
I should get a medal, or something.
Look, everyone a picture of a tiger!

Guess who went to the zoo last week? THIS GIRL.