Have I ever mentioned that I love my primary care physician? She's technically not a doctor; she's just a nurse practitioner, but she's incredible all the same.
She mentioned to her nursing student that I was thin today. HA! VICTORY!
Another victory (at least for me, anyway), is the fact that I'll be starting a round of fertility drugs, specifically Clomid, in a couple of weeks. I'm really excited about this, as it means we might actually get somewhere.
Basically, Clomid is a drug that will stimulate my ovaries to produce eggs (which could potentially have the side effect of making more than one baby, but usually not more than two). I'll be on this for a few weeks until the point when they [cough] inseminate me with a [cough] sample from Jacob. It's a bit awkward, but since doing that special kind of dancing hasn't been working for us, I'm pretty much up for anything.
Essentially, we could get pregnant in time for me to get the best birthday present ever. I'm not saying that's likely, but it is a possibility.
If this doesn't work after about 4 cycles, then I get to go to Mayo for some straight-up IVF. Not really interested in that, but if we're going down this road already, we may as well sink money into it before we sink money into the adoption process. It's just the Minnesota Hunerdosse journey, I guess.
For so long, I've been fixating on this, repressing all my feelings about infertility until they weigh upon my heart so heavily until I break down, or channel it into some bizarre project. Or, at least, that's been the cycle to which I've had no relief. But now...ah, but now...there's actual hope.
Hope. So wonderful.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of work to become less depressed and more functional. Self-esteem boosting, perhaps. I finally got my substitute teaching license and started working again! I'm really looking forward to actually doing a job that influences people (specifically, children). I hope I can instill a sense of value in them...and for the love of God, fix their grammar...
Also, Jacob recently found an article that said because I have severe endometriosis, I'm more likely to be smokin' hot. And, well, I am smokin' hot (that is, when I'm not wearing the clothes of a jam band roadie.) I may have been privy to a surreal recreation of My Fair Lady this weekend, which reaffirmed the fact that my rear end is spectacular and I can still "drop it like it's hot." Not that anyone around me was even remotely interested in my feminine appeal, but no matter: I might be becoming an attractive adult, and this pleases me.
I've also been doing a lot of running. I ran an 8k a while back and this past weekend I ran the Big Gay Race 5k up in Minneapolis. It was awesome; not only did I run reasonably well considering all the people, but it was just incredibly affirming to see thousands of people come out in support of love. Oh, it warmed my heart so!
We got DirectTV, so now I can watch Doctor Who every single damn day (although I've DVRd the most recent episode, so, no spoilers, Sweetie). We can also watch Game of Thrones and Homeland, both of which have earned my seal of approval. Even better, I can watch old movies from my past, like The Haunting. Holy crap, 13-year-old Katie loves this movie.
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| This album has helped me turn the corner on depression. As you can see, this isn't the actual cd, just a copy I made for David. I labeled it accordingly. |
